adBlockCheck

IOC: Many Viewers May Be Using Olympics-Enhancing Drugs

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

IOC: Many Viewers May Be Using Olympics-Enhancing Drugs

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA–The International Olympic Committee announced Monday that it will launch a full-scale investigation in the wake of allegations of Olympics-enhancing drug use by viewers. "We have reason to suspect that as many as 18 million U.S. viewers are artificially increasing their ability to sit through the Sydney Games with illegal substances, particularly marijuana," IOC president Juan Antonio Samaranch said. "These drugs enable viewers to watch NBC Olympic coverage beyond the limits of normal human endurance." Interest-boosting doping, Samaranch said, is particularly rampant among viewers of archery, men's handball, and women's sailing.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close