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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Iraq Beheading Videos Enter Summer Reruns

FALLUJAH, IRAQ—After a much-watched, record-setting season, Iraqi TV's popular series of beheading videos entered summer reruns this week as the cast and producers focus on stockpiling weapons and identifying targets. "Naturally viewers are impatient for new episodes, but beheading videos don't script and tape themselves," said actor-producer-insurgent Haitham Al-Badhri, who has used his much-needed hiatus to scout new locations in Fallujah, Basrah, and even the suburbs of Baghdad. "I promise we'll have lots of excitement for all of our fans come September, including a few special surprise 'guests' you won't want to miss." Though beheading-video viewers claim the reruns lack suspense, reports indicate that summer ratings remain high.

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