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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Ironic-Kitsch-Appreciation Subculture Excited About New Britney Spears Novel

AUSTIN, TX–Across the nation, Gen-X ironic-kitsch aficionados are racing to bookstores to pick up the new Britney Spears novel A Mother's Gift. "Holy shit, check it out: It's about a teenage girl who becomes a pop superstar thanks to the love and support of her mother," Mike Romanoff, 29, told friend Darius Grace, 30, while perusing the book at an Austin-area Barnes & Noble. "This is an instant classic on par with Fabio After Dark." Added Tim Edwards, operator of the popular "Mr. Sarcastic" web site: "I cannot wait to read this 'timeless, universal story as written by the girl who actually lived it.' Awesome."

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