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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Is it time to establish a specialized Federal Emergency Pornography Agency?

The government response to the pornography outage that hit the Midwest this week has faced widespread criticism, with many complaining the emergency porn distributed by rescue workers was low-quality, featuring unattractive performers, poor camera angles, cheesy music, and only one facial. Is It time to establish a specialized Federal Emergency Pornography Agency?

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