Israeli PM Debuts New Road Map For Continued Strife

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Vol 45 Issue 20

Cow Genome Outlined

After six years of work, 300 scientists have unraveled the bovine genome, which may lead to better milk and meat production. What do you...
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Israeli PM Debuts New Road Map For Continued Strife

JERUSALEM—In a historic speech before the U.N. Tuesday, newly elected Israeli prime minister Benjamin Netanyahu unveiled a comprehensive plan to extend political discord and senseless violence in the Middle East through the next 25 years. Key elements of the 60-page road map include a symbolic and ultimately fruitless 2010 regional summit, a tenuous cease-fire that will be violently broken mid-autumn by an as-yet-unnamed splinter group, a series of hope-shattering assassinations, and two untimely comas. "I intend to lead the nation of Israel out of this senseless, bitter fighting and chaos, and into a new era of organized, carefully thought-out fighting and chaos," Netanyahu said. "If Israelis and Arabs work together, we can put off lasting peace indefinitely." Sources close to the prime minister indicated that Netanyahu would be willing to consider Palestinian statehood if such a move led to a full-scale Mideast war.

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