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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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'It's A Privilege To Have Worked With Such Talented People,' Says Coworker Getting The Fuck Out Of There

EUGENE, OR—During his final day of work at R&C Media on Friday, consultant Carlton Davies told coworkers it was "an honor" to have worked with such a gifted and talented group of people, even though he's spent the past two weeks literally counting the hours until he could get the fuck out of there and never, ever come back. "I've learned so much from each and every one of you," said Davies, who for six months has told family and friends he's been "dying to leave that shithole of a company" and who, at exactly 5 p.m., peeled out of the office parking lot as the Kings song "Switching To Glide" blared from his car stereo. "It's truly been an honor." While eating a piece of goodbye cake in the office break room, Davies' boss Laura Marcus described his departure as an immense loss for the company, knowing full well she would replace him with an intern who would do the same work at half the cost.

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