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Friends Don’t Understand How Man Not Depressed

Citing factors such as his low-paying job, lack of foreseeable prospects, and modest living conditions, sources close to local resident Karl Brewster said Thursday they are at a loss to explain his day-to-day cheerfulness in the face of such a bleak exist...

What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.
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Jackie Chan's Ancestors Shamed By Blooper Reel

HONG KONG— The shades of the ancestors of action hero Jackie Chan were posthumously disgraced upon seeing a "blooper reel" at the end of Rush Hour 2. "I die a thousand deaths when my dishonorable progeny fails to remember his line," said the ghost of Chan Kim-Yiang, who died fighting against the British occupation of Hong Kong in 1840. "To see him flip off a restaurant table, only to land wrong and bonk his head, brings dishonor to all the Chans who have passed from this world into the realm of wind and ghosts."

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