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Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

NFL Implements New Court Date Attire Regulations

NEW YORK—Citing players’ responsibility to represent themselves and the league in a professional manner, the NFL announced a new set of regulations Monday governing the attire that players are allowed to wear during court dates.

Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.
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Jaguars Surprised By String Of Prospects Openly Discussing Prior Drug Use, Criminal Activity During Interviews

JACKSONVILLE, FL—Claiming that the players completely squandered the opportunity to be selected third overall in this year’s NFL Draft, bewildered officials from the Jacksonville Jaguars front office confirmed Friday that a large number of top prospects readily offered to discuss their prior drug use and criminal activity during interviews with the team. “It really only took one or two minutes before most players started openly talking about their troubled pasts and how they would never change,” said Jaguars head coach Gus Bradley, adding that almost every player freely admitted to associating with known gang members, frequently visiting prostitutes, and carrying unlicensed firearms at all times. “One guy told me that even though it’s not publicly known, he was arrested the night before, and another came right out and told me he was currently high. Plus, one of the corners we had at the top of our board immediately told us he’s planning on stabbing someone at a nightclub next week. This was a particularly forthright class.” Jaguars personnel told reporters this was the most eye-opening round of interviews since 2012, when Andrew Luck assured Jacksonville scouts that he would soon be indicted on rape charges.

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