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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Jake Delhomme Throws Keys To Wrong Valet

CHARLOTTE, NC—Claiming that he felt "rushed," Panthers quarterback Jake Delhomme failed to connect on a 5-foot pass to his Capital Grille restaurant valet Sunday, instead sending his car keys into the hands of the wrong parking attendant. "It's frustrating, because I knew as soon as I let go of the keys that the throw was off target," said Delhomme, adding that he should not have been throwing off his back foot. "I don't want to make excuses, but I may have injured my throwing hand on the sharp edge of a key while I was in the pocket. Hopefully, I can watch film from the valet's security camera and correct that next time." Once inside the restaurant, Delhomme fumbled a steaming hot dinner roll, kicked it across the dining room while trying to pick it up, and was blocked into a side table by a busboy, who eventually recovered the baked good.

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