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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Jakob Dylan Still Not Convinced Father A Better Songwriter

LOS ANGELES—Although his father, Bob Dylan, is widely considered to be the voice of a generation, Jakob Dylan, lead singer of folk-rock band the Wallflowers, said Monday he remains unconvinced that his father is the family's most talented songwriter. "I definitely think the verdict is still out," said Dylan, adding that time will be the ultimate judge of whether he or the elder Dylan will turn out to be more influential. "Sure, by the time Dad was 21, he had already written 'Blowin' in the Wind,' but let's not forget I'm only 38. I'm still maturing as an artist, and I have a whole notebook of ideas." Dylan added that he may have caused a greater stir in the music world than his father ever did when he was mercilessly booed for performing an acoustic version of "One Headlight" at Pennsylvania's Fayette County Fair in 2005.

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