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Sports

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Jan Ullrich Feels He Can No Longer Trust Anyone With His Bags Of Blood

BERLIN—Sources close to Tour de France-winning cyclist Jan Ullrich said Monday that the retired champion is beginning to feel that plastic bags of his blood may not be safe in the hands of anyone but himself after Spanish authorities found several of Ullrich's blood bags in the office of an infamous Spanish doping doctor. "Even long after I retire, sacks of my blood are still turning up in the strangest places," Ullrich, the only German to ever win the Tour, reportedly said to business associates. "You think your blood bags are safe with someone, and the next thing you know, aha! There it is in some Madrid refrigerator. Do I trust myself to people too easily, do you think?" Authorities in possession of the blood would not speculate on its origin, but photos posted on the Velo News website seem to show the inscription "To Lance And Sheryl, Best Wishes, Jan XOXO" on the seal of one bag.

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