BEAVERTON, OR—Touting the undergarment as an essential item for women on the go, Nike released a new sports bra Monday designed for wearing directly under a coat while shambling around the grocery store, sources reported.
NEW YORK—Jason Giambi will miss the next several games due to soreness in his groin, if you catch the Yankee first baseman's drift, because in recent weeks Giambi has apparently been applying too much pressure to his groin area, if you know what he means—and he thinks you know what he means. "Last night, I was rounding third base, when I felt a sudden stiffness in my groin," Giambi told members of the media while holding his hands approximately two feet from his pelvic region and slowly gyrating his hips in a suggestive fashion. "Something had to be done to reduce the fluid buildup. If you see where I'm going here." Giambi assured reporters, however, that despite overextending his groin last night for two long hours, he would, hell yeah, be able to return to action tonight. He then winked five times.