adBlockCheck

Jason Kidd Given 1997 Chevy Lumina For Making 10,000th Assist

Top Headlines

Sports

Report: Gonzaga’s In Washington, Right?

NEW YORK—Ahead of the team’s first-round game against Seton Hall in the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament, a new report released Thursday revealed that Gonzaga is in Washington state, right?

Teary-Eyed Robert Griffin III Slips On Draft Day Suit Again

WASHINGTON—With several tears streaming down his face as he stood alone in his bedroom’s walk-in closet, sources confirmed Wednesday that former Washington Redskins quarterback Robert Griffin III slipped on the suit he wore to the 2012 NFL Draft.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Nightlife

Ugh, This A Place Where Bartenders Wear Bow Tie

PITTSBURGH—Saying they should have known from the moment they walked in the unmarked speakeasy entrance and spotted the extensive wood paneling, customers confirmed Friday that, ugh, this is one of those places where the bartenders all wear bow ties.

Jason Kidd Given 1997 Chevy Lumina For Making 10,000th Assist

DALLAS—After dishing out his 10,000th career assist Sunday, Dallas Mavericks point guard Jason Kidd was given a used white 1997 Chevy Lumina fully equipped with a sunroof and an AM-FM radio-cassette player. "Jason, congratulations," teammate Dirk Nowitzki said while he and three other Maverick players pushed the car to center court. "Transmission needs a rebuild, paint job's okay from 10 feet, and she might have 167,000 miles on her, but that just means she's broken in. Jason, thanks for passing the ball a lot to people who can score." Former Utah Jazz guard John Stockton received a similar honor in 1995 when his team recognized his career achievements by awarding him a $50 gift certificate to Sam Goody and an arm's length of 50-50 raffle tickets.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close