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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.
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Jay Cutler Proudly Watches Son Throw First Tantrum

CHICAGO—Telling reporters that it marked a joyous occasion for him as a father, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler proudly watched his 1-year-old son throw his first-ever temper tantrum Monday. “Hey, looks like my boy had himself quite the hissy fit, just like his old man,” said Cutler after his son Camden reportedly exploded into a tearful rage in response to dropping a juice box handed to him by a staffer at his daycare, screaming and pounding his fists on the ground for several minutes. “My little guy’s barely even a year old, and he’s already throwing tantrums like his dad does on TV. He even stormed out of the room and sulked afterward. Yep, he’s a regular chip off the old block.” Cutler noted that he further swelled up with pride upon watching his son blame his mistake on the other kids.

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