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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Jay Cutler Proudly Watches Son Throw First Tantrum

CHICAGO—Telling reporters that it marked a joyous occasion for him as a father, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler proudly watched his 1-year-old son throw his first-ever temper tantrum Monday. “Hey, looks like my boy had himself quite the hissy fit, just like his old man,” said Cutler after his son Camden reportedly exploded into a tearful rage in response to dropping a juice box handed to him by a staffer at his daycare, screaming and pounding his fists on the ground for several minutes. “My little guy’s barely even a year old, and he’s already throwing tantrums like his dad does on TV. He even stormed out of the room and sulked afterward. Yep, he’s a regular chip off the old block.” Cutler noted that he further swelled up with pride upon watching his son blame his mistake on the other kids.

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