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Biggest Announcements From E3

Each June, E3, or The Electronic Entertainment Expo, hosts game developers showing off their latest products. Here are this year’s most exciting announcements:

‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Jay Leno Reconsiders Retirement After Georgia Woman Sets Boyfriend's Crotch On Fire

BURBANK, CA—Despite having announced plans to retire as host of The Tonight Show in 2008, Jay Leno admitted yesterday that he was "having serious doubts" about leaving the TV show after coming across a recent news item in which a Georgia woman doused her philandering husband's groin in kerosene and set it aflame. The veteran comedian said the incident would provide a wealth of material for "many, many years to come." "Boy, talk about keeping your marriage exciting," said Leno, who claimed he had already assigned 19 of his top writers to the story. "It's John Wayne Bobbitt all over again—crotch violence set in the South. If I leave it for Conan [O'Brien], he'll just do two or three really good jokes and then drop it. What a waste." The victim, 32-year-old Kenny Garver of Athens, GA, was unavailable for comment due to the blistering third-degree burns covering 70 percent of his body.

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