adBlockCheck

Jay-Z CEO Resigns After Stock Price Plunges

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Jay-Z CEO Resigns After Stock Price Plunges

NEW YORK—Following a dismal second quarter in which the company’s stock price plummeted more than 30 percent, CEO Walter Kempman stunned shareholders Tuesday by announcing that he will resign his leadership of the New York–based entertainment conglomerate Jay-Z. “We are grateful for all Walter has done for Jay-Z, but ultimately the board of directors recommended that he step down,” said chairman David Casey, who admitted that the brand had struggled somewhat since Jay-Z went public in 2003 to an impressive IPO of $17.6 billion. “When my grandfather, a simple car mechanic from Akron, Ohio, founded Jay-Z in 1949, he did so in hopes of providing the very best in service to our customers. We are confident that with the right adjustments, we can return to that vision as we lead Jay-Z into the future.” Top Jay-Z executives will reportedly now turn their attention to finding a replacement CEO, with COO Michael Quinlan, vice president James Clark, and CFO Shawn Carter taking over Kempman’s responsibilities during the interim.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close