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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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Jay-Z CEO Resigns After Stock Price Plunges

NEW YORK—Following a dismal second quarter in which the company’s stock price plummeted more than 30 percent, CEO Walter Kempman stunned shareholders Tuesday by announcing that he will resign his leadership of the New York–based entertainment conglomerate Jay-Z. “We are grateful for all Walter has done for Jay-Z, but ultimately the board of directors recommended that he step down,” said chairman David Casey, who admitted that the brand had struggled somewhat since Jay-Z went public in 2003 to an impressive IPO of $17.6 billion. “When my grandfather, a simple car mechanic from Akron, Ohio, founded Jay-Z in 1949, he did so in hopes of providing the very best in service to our customers. We are confident that with the right adjustments, we can return to that vision as we lead Jay-Z into the future.” Top Jay-Z executives will reportedly now turn their attention to finding a replacement CEO, with COO Michael Quinlan, vice president James Clark, and CFO Shawn Carter taking over Kempman’s responsibilities during the interim.

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