Jay Z Honored To Be Nominated In Same Category As Jay Z

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Vol 50 Issue 03

Lunchbox Mostly Medication

Inclement weather prevents a liar from getting to work, thousands of athletes who will disgrace their country eagerly train for the Winter Olympics, and a lunchbox is mostly medication.

Mascot Absolutely Reeks

SYRACUSE, NY—Saying that they probably never clean the thing, sources confirmed Friday that Syracuse University’s mascot Otto the Orange absolutely reeked as he wove his way in and out of stands.
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Jay Z Honored To Be Nominated In Same Category As Jay Z

LOS ANGELES—Saying that he was thrilled to be considered alongside such a talented and respected musician, hip-hop artist and 2014 Best Rap Album Grammy nominee Jay Z told reporters today that he feels “deeply honored” to be nominated in the same category as Jay Z. “When I saw the list of Grammy nominees and realized that I was up for the same award as musical pioneer and industry legend Jay Z, I was completely blown away,” said Jay-Z, who noted that he’s “a huge fan” of all of Jay Z’s songs and that he considers Jay-Z to be the one of greatest artists of his generation and a personal inspiration. “It feels great just to have my album Magna Carta…Holy Grail nominated this year, but for it to even be mentioned in the same breath with a flawless album like Jay Z’s Magna Carta…Holy Grail is a humbling experience and one that I truly cherish.” Jay Z then told reporters that, regardless of who wins tonight’s award, he knows that Jay Z is the artist who truly deserves it.

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