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Politics

Rural Working-Class Archbishops Come Out In Droves To Welcome Trump To Vatican

VATICAN CITY—Arriving in their dusty pickup trucks from as far away as the dioceses of Oria and Locri-Gerace to express their support for a leader who they say embodies their interests and defends their way of life, droves of rural working-class archbishops reportedly poured into St. Peter’s Square today to greet U.S. president Donald Trump during his visit to the Vatican.

Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

Escalating Tensions Lead Trump To Shake Up Inner Circle Of TV Programs

WASHINGTON—Saying the decision arose out of the necessity to weed out certain key members whose values no longer aligned with the president’s, White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters Thursday that escalating tensions have led President Trump to shake up his inner circle of television programs.
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Jeb Bush Campaign Kicks Off 3-State Farewell Tour With Iowa Town Hall Meeting

MASON CITY, IA—Having carefully rehearsed their soundbites and readied their bus for one final month on the road, Jeb Bush’s presidential campaign reportedly kicked off a three-state farewell tour with a town hall meeting Monday before a gathered crowd of dozens. “We wanted to show moderate Republicans how much we’ve appreciated all the support we’ve had throughout this election season, so we put together a busy schedule of stump speeches and meet-and-greets to bid our goodbyes,” said Bush campaign manager Danny Diaz, who noted that the candidate would treat audiences to his most popular talking points and attacks on his rivals during the four-week sendoff that will take him to select cities in Iowa, New Hampshire, and South Carolina. “We just really want to enjoy these final few days together as a campaign and take the opportunity to personally thank the many donors and political strategists who’ve made this whole thing possible. Then, I guess, we’ll all share one final pat on the back, give our endorsement to Marco Rubio, and head our separate ways.” Diaz noted, however, that given Bush’s compromised condition, there was a chance they might have to end the tour early and cancel their final few dates in South Carolina.

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Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’

WASHINGTON—Responding to a damning ‘Washington Post’ report alleging he had shared highly classified information with Russian officials, President Donald Trump addressed the concerns of the press, his fellow government officials, and the public at large Tuesday by announcing that he was an incredibly stupid human being.

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