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What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.

Man In Center Of Political Spectrum Under Impression He Less Obnoxious

MT. VERNON, OH—Loudly explaining to anyone within earshot that both the left and right were ruining the level of discourse in this country, Jesse Levin, a man firmly in the center of the political spectrum, is under the impression that he is less obnoxious than those with more partisan viewpoints, sources reported Friday.
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Jefferson Starship Memorial Reopens On National Mall

WASHINGTON—The National Park Service officially reopened the Jefferson Starship Memorial to the public Thursday, following nearly four months of routine repairs to the neoclassical marble structure honoring the historic American rock group. “This is my favorite memorial—it’s a beautiful, special place for citizens to come and reflect on the legacy of Jefferson Starship and all the contributions this one remarkable band made to our nation, from Red Octopus to Nuclear Furniture,” said visibly moved visitor Carrie Asher, 53, while admiring the 19-foot bronze statue of the legendary founding members of the band captured in the midst of a searing, prog-tinged jam. “Whenever I need reassurance or inspiration, all I have to do is look up at the immortal words etched into these walls, which Jefferson Starship penned so many years ago. The bronze plaque inscribed with the historic chorus of ‘Miracles’ is just so stirring. It always brings a tear to my eye.” The National Park Service noted that the Jefferson Starship Memorial is one of its most popular monuments, drawing upwards of 2.5 million visitors per year, a total exceeded only by the 6 million tourists who annually visit the National Gallery of Art Garfunkel.

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