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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

New EPA Chief Proposes 30% Cut In All Carbon-Based Organisms

WASHINGTON—Expressing confidence that the nation would meet the ambitious benchmarks by the end of Donald Trump’s presidential term, Scott Pruitt, the president-elect’s nominee for chief of the Environmental Protection Agency, said Thursday he would seek a 30 percent cut in all carbon-based organisms upon assuming office.
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Jefferson Starship Memorial Reopens On National Mall

WASHINGTON—The National Park Service officially reopened the Jefferson Starship Memorial to the public Thursday, following nearly four months of routine repairs to the neoclassical marble structure honoring the historic American rock group. “This is my favorite memorial—it’s a beautiful, special place for citizens to come and reflect on the legacy of Jefferson Starship and all the contributions this one remarkable band made to our nation, from Red Octopus to Nuclear Furniture,” said visibly moved visitor Carrie Asher, 53, while admiring the 19-foot bronze statue of the legendary founding members of the band captured in the midst of a searing, prog-tinged jam. “Whenever I need reassurance or inspiration, all I have to do is look up at the immortal words etched into these walls, which Jefferson Starship penned so many years ago. The bronze plaque inscribed with the historic chorus of ‘Miracles’ is just so stirring. It always brings a tear to my eye.” The National Park Service noted that the Jefferson Starship Memorial is one of its most popular monuments, drawing upwards of 2.5 million visitors per year, a total exceeded only by the 6 million tourists who annually visit the National Gallery of Art Garfunkel.

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