adBlockCheck

Recent News

The Pros And Cons Of Gene Editing

Recent advancements in gene editing have introduced a number of exciting possibilities for human advancement and raised difficult ethical questions. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of gene editing.

Tips For Back-To-School Shopping

As kids prepare to go back to school, parents are tasked with providing all the supplies and clothes they’ll need for the year. Here are The Onion’s tips for tackling back-to-school shopping.

Report: Sky Normal Today

WASHINGTON—Informing citizens there really wasn’t anything special going on up there, the nation’s scientists confirmed the sky is normal today.
End Of Section
  • More News

Jenny Sanford: 'I'm Loving These Lax Gun Purchasing Laws'

SULLIVAN’S ISLAND, SC—Hours after former South Carolina governor Mark Sanford won back his old congressional seat Tuesday, the philandering politician’s ex-wife, Jenny Sanford, told reporters that she couldn’t express enough support for the state’s lenient gun purchasing laws. “It’s just really great to know that in South Carolina, as long as you have a state ID and as little as $50, you can have a loaded, lethal weapon in your hand, cocked and ready to go in minutes,” said the state’s former first lady, whose highly publicized divorce from her husband—who is now engaged to the mistress he secretly visited in 2009 with the use of misappropriated state funds—was finalized in March 2010. “There are no concealment laws, and I don’t even have to worry about getting the gun registered. Perfect.” Reporters say Sanford abruptly concluded the interview, saying, “Well, I have to go now.”

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close