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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Jeremy Shockey Offers To Tear Down New Orleans Residents' Homes

NEW ORLEANS—Inspired to donate his time to the people of New Orleans after touring a neighborhood in the troubled Ninth Ward Monday, Saints tight end Jeremy Shockey volunteered to help residents demolish their homes by using a sledgehammer to knock down walls, razing buildings with a bulldozer, or shooting out windows with a nail gun. "No one should have to live anywhere near houses that look like this," Shockey said. "As a new member of this community, I feel it's my duty to keep working until every person in this neighborhood has a house that's been leveled." According to local residents, Shockey has already destroyed three Habitat for Humanity structures, dismantled several United Way projects, and flattened at least a dozen homes rebuilt since 2006.

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Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

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