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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Jeremy Shockey Offers To Tear Down New Orleans Residents' Homes

NEW ORLEANS—Inspired to donate his time to the people of New Orleans after touring a neighborhood in the troubled Ninth Ward Monday, Saints tight end Jeremy Shockey volunteered to help residents demolish their homes by using a sledgehammer to knock down walls, razing buildings with a bulldozer, or shooting out windows with a nail gun. "No one should have to live anywhere near houses that look like this," Shockey said. "As a new member of this community, I feel it's my duty to keep working until every person in this neighborhood has a house that's been leveled." According to local residents, Shockey has already destroyed three Habitat for Humanity structures, dismantled several United Way projects, and flattened at least a dozen homes rebuilt since 2006.

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