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Man Knows Exactly Which Asshole Got Him Sick

SARATOGA SPRINGS, NY—Immediately realizing the genesis of the fever and sore throat that left him feeling like shit, 30-year-old local man Edward Mosley told reporters Tuesday that he knows exactly which asshole got him sick.

How Gerrymandering Works

The Supreme Court is considering a case regarding the partisan gerrymandering of districts in Wisconsin, which could change the way maps are drawn across the country. Here is a step-by-step guide to how Gerrymandering works.
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Jerry Always Willing To Pick Up Overtime

BOISE, ID— Boise Tool & Die sources reported Monday that machinist Jerry Tepper, 48, is always willing to pick up overtime, should anyone wish to cut out early. "I don't know, maybe his wife is sick or something," foreman Don Jeske said. "Whatever the reason, Jerry's the go-to guy if you're looking to take off. He just can't resist the extra cash."

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