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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?
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Jerry Sandusky Hoping Judge Takes It Easy On Him With Sentencing

BELLEFONTE, PA—Jerry Sandusky’s lawyers told reporters Tuesday that the former Penn State assistant football coach is desperately hoping the judge “has a heart” and will take it easy on him while delivering his sentence for 45 counts of child sexual abuse. “This is a first-time offender who has always been active in the community and has shown great behavior during this whole trial,” said defense attorney Joe Amendola, adding that Sandusky hopes to be released after serving a couple years so he can get back to his wife, his children, and “all his young friends whom he misses very much.” “We’re talking about a man who founded an entire foundation for at-risk youths out of the goodness of his heart. This is a good man, and I don’t think anybody would argue that he doesn’t deserve a little mercy.” Regardless of the outcome, the defense reportedly intends to file an appeal after sentencing on the grounds that it was far too difficult to prove Sandusky’s innocence given the timing of the trial and their client admitting to being attracted to children on national television.

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