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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Jerry Sandusky Pretty Charming In Interview

NEW YORK—In a recent interview aired on The Today Show, serial child molester Jerry Sandusky came across as a likable and really quite charming individual, sources told reporters Tuesday. “Boy, I gotta say, I found myself liking him a lot in that interview,” local man Scott Russell said of the former Penn State football coach and incarcerated rapist who last year was convicted of engaging in forced sodomy and oral sex with at least 10 underage boys. “He flashed that big ol’ smile, and talked in this warm, soft-spoken voice, and you could tell he’s got this really infectious, fun-loving personality. He was like a big kid! I don’t know, I just liked the way he carried himself.” Sources went on to confirm that “the guy’s just got a nice vibe about him.”

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