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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Jerry Sandusky Somehow Coaching Little League World Series Team

SOUTH WILLIAMSPORT, PA—Shocking many parents, coaches, and spectators across the nation, former Penn State defensive coordinator and convicted serial child molester Jerry Sandusky was inexplicably witnessed coaching the Little League World Series team from Fairfield, CT this past week. "I could have sworn he was in jail, but there's no doubt about it, that's Jerry Sandusky coaching my kid from the dugout," parent Henry Billings told reporters, not only questioning why the sexual deviant was coaching, but also how the former football coach could know enough about baseball to manage the team into the championship series. "I'm a little worried, sure, but he definitely seems to have a great rapport with the kids. Most everybody except for the Hopkins boy seems to be having fun." This latest report is not the first account of Jerry Sandusky coaching a team of minors, as only last month the parents of a 10-year-old AYSO soccer player in Virginia claimed to have witnessed Coach Sandusky tickling their son's team on the sidelines as they ate oranges at halftime.

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