Jesus-Loving Co-Worker Believes She's Not Alone At Lunch Table

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LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.
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Coworkers Pull Off Daring One-Hour Lunch Break

TUCSON, AZ—Saying they couldn’t believe such a wild exploit had even been attempted, employees at local marketing firm Synergy Media Services told reporters they were still completely dumbfounded Thursday after account manager Tim Gibbons managed to pull off a daring one-hour lunch break.

Jesus-Loving Co-Worker Believes She's Not Alone At Lunch Table

POCATELLO, ID—Sitting by herself at a table in the Pocatello Tool Works lunchroom, devout Christian Brenda Smolensk announced Monday that she is "convinced beyond any doubt" that she is not alone. "Oh, there may not be anybody sitting to my right, my left or anywhere else at this table," Smolensk said, "but He is with me." Smolensk's co-workers said her overwhelming love of Christ is the reason for her lack of companionship. "We used to sit with her," co-worker Don Inkster said, "but she wouldn't shut up about Jesus and the Bible and stuff. Now we wait for her to sit down before deciding where to eat." Smolensk is also convinced she did not spend last Christmas, New Year's Eve, Valentine's Day, Easter and Thanksgiving alone.

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