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Jets Worry Tim Tebow Will Be Distracted By Wild New York Churchlife

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Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Jets Worry Tim Tebow Will Be Distracted By Wild New York Churchlife

NEW YORK—Despite an obvious display of enthusiasm for Tim Tebow's arrival at his introductory press conference Monday, the New York Jets admitted this week to concerns he may become distracted by the city's wild churchlife. "Manhattan offers worship services at all hours of the day, with some places bearing witness to the Good News till 4 a.m.—not to mention all those millions of nonbelievers walking around to convert—and a young player with a healthy thirst for Christianity could really have himself some fun here," said Jets coach Rex Ryan, adding that the sheer number of churches in New York means Tebow could tithe himself into bankruptcy if he's not careful. "In the past, he's managed to keep his God habit in check and focus on football, but in a city where a pew is never more than a minute away, we don't know if he'll be able to resist the temptation." Sources confirmed the Jets are making overtures to fellow Christian Kurt Warner to mentor Tebow, because the veteran once played in the city, and also because they do not have anybody who is good at quarterback.

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