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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Jets Worry Tim Tebow Will Be Distracted By Wild New York Churchlife

NEW YORK—Despite an obvious display of enthusiasm for Tim Tebow's arrival at his introductory press conference Monday, the New York Jets admitted this week to concerns he may become distracted by the city's wild churchlife. "Manhattan offers worship services at all hours of the day, with some places bearing witness to the Good News till 4 a.m.—not to mention all those millions of nonbelievers walking around to convert—and a young player with a healthy thirst for Christianity could really have himself some fun here," said Jets coach Rex Ryan, adding that the sheer number of churches in New York means Tebow could tithe himself into bankruptcy if he's not careful. "In the past, he's managed to keep his God habit in check and focus on football, but in a city where a pew is never more than a minute away, we don't know if he'll be able to resist the temptation." Sources confirmed the Jets are making overtures to fellow Christian Kurt Warner to mentor Tebow, because the veteran once played in the city, and also because they do not have anybody who is good at quarterback.

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