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Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Can Trump Follow Through On His Campaign Promises?

President-elect Donald Trump made a variety of lofty promises during his campaign as part of a pledge to “make America great again.” The Onion looks at several of these promises and evaluates whether Trump will be willing or able to follow through on them.

Being A Mom Was The Best Four Years Of My Life!

As I get older, I find myself reflecting on my life more often and marveling at what an amazing journey it’s been. I’ve made tons of great friends, been to magnificent places all over the world, and learned so many important things about myself along the way. But if I’m being honest, there’s one period of my life that stands out from all the rest: those four incredible years when I was a mom.
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Jews' Covenant Up For Renewal With God

Canaan—The sacred covenant made between Abraham and the Hebrew god Yahweh expired Monday, setting off a fierce round of re-negotiations between Jewish representatives and God's legal counsel. Area Jews are hoping for a contract similar to the one made 6,000 years ago with the Lord—a contract that not only made them God’s chosen people, but also included significant land incentives, most notably the Promised Land known today as Israel. "If God thinks we are just going to roll over and re-sign, that's one deity that's got another thing coming," said Hollywood superagent Mike Ovitz, who has been called in by the Jews to negotiate. "I want a package deal, with domestic and international rights. And this whole Arab thing, forget about it." God's legal team declined comment.

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