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Best Sports Documentaries

With ESPN’s film ‘OJ: Made In America’ emerging as an Oscars frontrunner this year, Onion Sports looks back at some of the greatest sports documentaries of all time.

Report: Look How Big Player Is Next To Sideline Reporter

GREEN BAY, WI—Marveling at the pronounced disparity in size during the postgame interview, sources confirmed Sunday that, Jesus Christ, just look at how big Houston Texans nose tackle Vince Wilfork is next to the CBS sideline reporter.

Best Sports Video Games Of All Time

With titles such as ‘FIFA 17’ and ’NBA 2K17’ expected to be popular gifts this holiday season, Onion Sports looks back on some of the best sports video games of all time.

Strongside/Weakside: Ezekiel Elliott

After becoming only the third player in NFL history to rush for 1,000 yards in his first nine games, Dallas Cowboys rookie running back Ezekiel Elliott is an early candidate for league MVP. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Theo Epstein

In just five seasons, Chicago Cubs president of baseball operations Theo Epstein assembled a team that is competing for the franchise’s first World Series title since 1908. Is he any good?

Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?
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Jim Calhoun's History Of Breaking The Rules And Wasting Away

Jim Calhoun was hit hard by sanctions this week after the NCAA found he committed recruiting violations by telling high school recruits he was nothing more than a pitiable old man who is going to die soon. The NCAA collected evidence for months in the process of investigating these charges. The 30-page notice of allegations included transcripts of phone calls Calhoun had with prospective recruits:

OSN analysis of the evidence suggests that Calhoun did break NCAA rules, as enumerated here:

The NCAA is also investigating some of Calhoun's sideline behavior, including frequently clutching his chest, wailing to God and dressing Associate Head Coach George Blaney as the specter of Death hovering over Calhoun's shoulder:

Though this was the first time Calhoun had come within the NCAA's sights, it is far from the first time allegations were leveled against him for misdeed related to guilting recruits and his incredible age.

  • Guarantees Donyell Marshall he will never coach him because he will be dead inside of six months.
  • Caron Butler signs a letter of intent with the Huskies after Calhoun threatens to haunt his ancestors for 1000 years if he doesn't.
  • Forward Curtis Kelly leaves the team after discovering Calhoun was not an ageless demon who could send his entire family to hell with the point of a bony finger.
  • Spends the night at Richard Hamilton's home after complaining his body was tingling and he would die if moved.
  • Asks prized Israeli recruit Doron Sheffer to take him to the Wailing Wall so that he might die in a holy place.
  • After target Brandon Bass announces his intentions to attend LSU, Calhoun calls him and sobs into the receiver for 45 minutes.
  • Interrupts a phone call with recruit Travis Knight to claim his soul is leaving his body.
  • Offers Ricky Moore the opportunity to bring a message to God when he dies if Moore chooses UConn.

For more, see OSN’s list of the most decrepit men in sports.

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