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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Jim Harbaugh Insists Michael Crabtree Has Best, Most Lickable Hands In NFL History

SAN FRANCISCO—49ers coach Jim Harbaugh, who has worked with such receiving greats as Tim Brown, Marvin Harrison, and Jerry Rice over the course of his career, found reason to praise his current top pass-catcher last week when he claimed Michael Crabtree has "far and away the most mouth-watering and lickable hands" of any receiver playing today or any he has ever coached. "Larry Fitzgerald's hands are soft and Calvin Johnson's are strong, to be sure, but Michael's are the perfect balance of sweet and savory," Harbaugh said Friday during an interview on Bay Area sports radio station KNBR-680, adding that their unique tang was a major reason Crabtree caught 72 passes in the 2011 season. "They're pretty big, too, so you have to be careful you don't gag on them." When host Kevin Lynch asked, after an extended pause, if Harbaugh was satisfied with the way Crabtree's footwork had improved over his career, Harbaugh refused comment, saying only "feet are gross."

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