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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Jim Joyce Accidentally Deletes Book He's Writing With Armando Galarraga

NEW YORK—As umpire Jim Joyce and pitcher Armando Galarraga completed the writing of their book, Nobody's Perfect, Monday afternoon, Joyce accidentally highlighted the entire document and hit the delete key, thereby destroying all 240 pages of text. "I just cost that kid the whole book," a teary-eyed Joyce said to a group of reporters, adding that up until the end, the writing was going perfectly. "I was sure I put my finger where the period key was, I swear. But it was the delete key. It was the biggest moment of both of our writing careers, and I blew it." Though Galarraga forgave Joyce rather quickly, the umpire insisted on crying for a few more hours.

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