adBlockCheck

Jim Lehrer Forced To Report On His Own Botched Debate Moderator Performance On Tonight's 'NewsHour'

Top Headlines

Recent News

Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books

The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

Bernie Sanders is ramping up his efforts in the presidential race despite long odds, while sharpening his criticisms of a Democratic Party increasingly focused on the general election with Hillary Clinton as their presumptive nominee. Here are the arguments for and against Sanders staying in the race

Report: Nobody Fucking Cares

NEW YORK—According to a brief but conclusive report released Monday, nobody fucking cares. “Doesn’t fucking matter,” read the report in part, which went on to inform readers that no one gives two shits, so fuck it.

Mom Sleeps In Past Sunrise

WOBURN, MA―Noting that she had somehow managed to sleep through both the dawn chorus of birds and her neighborhood’s early morning garbage pickup, 53-year-old local mother Laura Maloney confirmed that she did not awaken Monday until after the sun had risen.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Jim Lehrer Forced To Report On His Own Botched Debate Moderator Performance On Tonight's 'NewsHour'

NEW YORK—After conducting the first of the 2012 presidential debates earlier this week, former anchor Jim Lehrer hosted PBS NewsHour’s political analysis roundtable on Friday, an appearance that forced him to discuss the quality of his widely panned performance as moderator. “The consensus among commentators is that Jim Lehrer completely lost control of this debate, failed to make the candidates adhere to its format, and generally allowed them to spend the full hour and a half reciting talking points on any subject they wished. Your thoughts?” Lehrer asked fellow commentators Mark Shields and David Brooks, both of whom agreed with their colleague’s scathing assessment of himself. “As someone who has reported on every presidential debate since 1960 and moderated 12 of them, including Wednesday night’s horribly handled contest between Mitt Romney and Barack Obama, I’m simply at a loss. It was frankly painful to watch the two debaters walk all over Mr. Lehrer, and I’m sure that, in hindsight, he wishes to God he had never signed on for the job.” Shields and Brooks spent the remaining 59 minutes of the broadcast providing a wide-range of political analysis and seldom allowing Lehrer to get a word in edgewise.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close