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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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Jim Leyland Accused Of Jumping On Tigers Bandwagon

DETROIT—Friends and associates of the American League manager say that, even though Jim Leyland had never rooted for the Detroit Tigers prior to this season, he "suddenly began following the team" once they started winning in early April. "In all the years I've known Jim, I don't think I have once heard him mention anything about the Tigers, but now that they're good again, he's walking around in a Tigers cap every day," said Roger Lussier, a longtime friend who noted that Leyland is not from Detroit and didn't even know who Mike Maroth was before he started the year 4-1. "Now he tells me he 'truly believes' Jeremy Bonderman is one of the best pitchers in baseball. He's such a fair-weather guy—I specifically remember him being a huge Florida Marlins fan back when they won the World Series in '97." Lussier predicted that, should the 20-13 Tigers return to form and begin to slide toward the bottom of the division, Leyland would quickly lose interest in the team.

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