LOS ANGELES—In an effort to prevent violent confrontations between spectators during home games, Los Angeles law enforcement officials released a statement Tuesday warning all away fans at Dodger Stadium to always wear team-neutral body armor.
DETROIT—Following the Tigers' 11-0 loss at home against the White Sox Sunday, frustrated manager Jim Leyland attempted to get through to his struggling ballclub by screaming in their faces, gesticulating wildly while pacing up and down the locker room floor, and removing every article of his clothing save for his socks. "We gave up two fucking grand slams in one game!" said Leyland, pointing at his bullpen with one hand and brandishing his recently removed pants in the other. "Do I need to run out to the mound with my dick swinging in the wind between every pitch so you goddamn well don't do that?" Leyland then stormed out of the locker room, held a markedly stilted post-game press conference, walked out of the clubhouse, and drove home.