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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Jim Nantz Wonders Aloud What Holding Basketball Like

INDIANAPOLIS—Saying that he has always dreamed about the experience, CBS Sports announcer Jim Nantz reportedly wondered aloud what holding a basketball might be like during Friday afternoon’s broadcast. “It’s moments like this, as I watch these young players, that I imagine how truly amazing it must feel to hold a basketball,” said Nantz, marveling at the prospect of grabbing the basketball, lifting it over his head, or even gently spinning it in his hands. “A wave of emotion must course through your body while tracing your fingertips over those little bumps and the black lines on the ball. Gosh, it must be absolutely exhilarating for these young men when they finally get to hold a basketball. My heart is racing right now just thinking about it.” Nantz then reportedly turned to his broadcast partner Grant Hill and asked him to describe what it was like to hold a basketball during Duke’s appearance in the 1992 NCAA National Championship Game.

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