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MLB Unveils Memorial For Runners Stranded On Base

NEW YORK—Solemnly ringing a bell 30 times for each of the teams that lost potential runs this season, Major League Baseball officials unveiled Tuesday a memorial outside league headquarters to commemorate all of the runners who have ever been stranded on base.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. Submits Paperwork For Gas Reimbursement

LONG POND, PA—Hunching over the steering wheel of his idling No. 88 Chevrolet SS to closely inspect the odometer, NASCAR driver Dale Earnhardt Jr. was reportedly in the process of submitting paperwork Monday to reimburse his gas expenses for the month.

A-Rod Donates $25 Million To Be Displayed In Glass Case In Baseball Hall Of Fame

COOPERSTOWN, NY—Ensuring that a treasured piece of the game’s history will be forever preserved for future generations of fans, representatives of the National Baseball Hall of Fame confirmed Friday that retired third baseman Alex Rodriguez recently donated $25 million of his earnings to be displayed inside a glass case in their museum.
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Jimmie Johnson Goes Out For Nice 180 MPH Drive To Clear His Head

CHARLOTTE, NC—Saying he was "still stressed out" from the tension of winning his fifth consecutive Sprint Cup, Hendrick Motorsports driver Jimmie Johnson unwound Tuesday by taking his No. 48 Lowe's Chevrolet for a leisurely 180 mph drive through the North Carolina countryside. "Sometimes I just like to throw on my comfy old Nomex suit and gloves, slide through the window of my Chevy, strap on the HANS device, buckle into that five-point racing harness, and just go," said Johnson, who claimed nothing was more soothing than watching the miles click by at the rate of three a minute. "I love turning up the radio and putting my elbow up on the fire extinguisher while I just kind of watch the world hurtle by like I haven't got a care in the world." Johnson returned two hours later, having only stopped outside of Atlanta for 9.6 seconds to get gas.

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