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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Jimmie Johnson On Winning The Dickies 500: 'Yee-Haw'

FORT WORTH—Hendrick Motorsports driver Jimmie Johnson, who took the points lead in the NEXTEL Cup championship with his win in the Dickies 500 after dicing with Matt Kenseth for several laps, was visibly excited by his victory Sunday while hollering at reporters for over 40 minutes in his post-race Victory Lane press conference. "Yeeeeeeeee," exclaimed Johnson, while repeatedly firing the twin pistols awarded to him for his win into the air, "Haaaaaaaaw!" When told that his victory relegated his teammate Jeff Gordon to second place in championship points, Johnson displayed admirable humility by removing his black ten-gallon cowboy hat and muttering a respectful "Awwww."

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