adBlockCheck

Recent News

Pros And Cons Of The Gig Economy

Americans are increasingly using on-demand services, both as workers and consumers. Here are the major benefits and drawbacks of the gig economy.

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Top Family Vacation Spots

With school out for the summer, families are packing up and hitting the road. Here are The Onion’s top family vacation destinations.
End Of Section
  • More News

Jimmy Buffett Pays For Own Drink For First Time In 17 Years

MIAMI BEACH, FL—Entertainment personality and novelty-song writer Jimmy Buffett sustained confusion Monday after being forced to hand over approximately $10 for an alcoholic beverage he ordered at Miami Beach's Beachcombover's Dugout Bar And Grill, an incident that had not occurred since the late 1980s. "I'm still not sure how it happened—I ordered a Long Island Iced Tea, drank it, and got up to leave as usual, but then the bartender stopped me, and I didn't know what he wanted me to do," said Buffett, 60, who composed a bitter yet theoretically humorous ballad about the incident later that day. "When he requested money for the drink, I thought, well, that's reasonable. But then no one would give him any." Bar staff said that perhaps the timing of the incident contributed to Buffett's predicament, since during the day potential drink-buyers typically spend their weekday afternoons managing shoe stores, adjusting claims, or entering data.

More from this section

Frontier Airlines Tells Customers To Just Fucking Deal With It

‘You’re Uncomfortable For A Few Hours And Then You Get To Be Somewhere Else,’ Says CEO

DENVER—Noting that some discomfort should be expected while traveling to a faraway place in just a few goddamn hours, officials from ultra-low-cost carrier Frontier Airlines reportedly told customers Thursday to just fucking deal with it.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close