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Joakim Noah Gets Some Ugly But Gutsy Yard Work Done Over The Weekend

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WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

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Joakim Noah Gets Some Ugly But Gutsy Yard Work Done Over The Weekend

CHICAGO—Though his neighbors said it wasn't a pretty sight, Bulls journeyman Joakim Noah reportedly put forward maximum effort while trimming hedges, fertilizing his lawn, and mulching during a workmanlike, 86-minute performance in his yard Monday. "He isn't afraid to grind it out, I'll give him that," said Edward Stanton, 46, a stockbroker who watched Noah whitewash the fence that marks the border between their lawns and confirmed he was impressed by the center's tenacity with the paint. "Not the most elegant approach I've ever seen, using his elbows like that, but he does get the job done." Meanwhile, across town, onlookers at Derrick Rose's backyard barbecue marveled as the point guard dished out 12 straight buckets of chicken.

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