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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

Greatest Super Bowl Halftime Shows

The Super Bowl halftime show is a long tradition as occasionally exciting as the game itself. The Onion takes a look back at the all-time greatest Super Bowl halftime shows.

NFL Loses Rights To ‘Super Bowl’

NEW YORK—After failing to agree to terms for a new licensing agreement before the February 3 deadline, the NFL lost the rights to the term “Super Bowl” on Friday, sources confirmed.

Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.
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Joakim Noah Guarantees He'll Annoy Living Fuck Out Of Heat

MIAMI—Following the Bulls upset of the Heat in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference semifinals, Chicago center Joakim Noah boldly guaranteed Monday that he will annoy the living fuck out of Miami in this series. “Mark my words, no one on the Heat can stop me from getting in their faces and irritating them every fucking second,” said Noah, looking straight into one of the cameras and emphatically promising to single-handedly start shit with “every one of those assholes on the Heat.” “I guarantee that I’ll trash-talk after making easy layups, scream after every rebound, and howl like a fucking lunatic while driving to the hoop.” Noah, who was asked whether his words might motivate the Heat, said that the media overhyping player predictions was pretty fucking annoying, which proved that he was off to a good start.

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Sixth Super Bowl Win Continues To Elude Patriots

HOUSTON—As disappointed players and coaches returned to the locker room following the end of Super Bowl LI, members of the New England Patriots acknowledged to reporters Sunday that the team’s sixth Super Bowl title continues to elude them.

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