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Report: Grandpa Just Walks Like That Now

CULVER CITY, CA—According to family sources, the prominent limp displayed by local grandpa Marvin Adelstein on Tuesday is indicative of the fact that he just walks like that now.

Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

Wife Dropping Hints She Ready To Have Second Husband

LA JOLLA, CA—Noticing a sudden change in her demeanor and attentiveness when around young married men, sources confirmed Tuesday that area woman Michelle Roderick was beginning to drop hints that she wanted to try for a second husband.
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Job Applicant Blows Away Interviewer With Intimate Knowledge Of Company’s ‘About Us’ Page

SEATTLE—Following an interview this morning during which job applicant Joshua Meyer described his admiration for the way Incite Analytics integrates a creative mindset with a business-minded approach, sources within the local marketing firm said they were “completely blown away” by the prospective employee’s extensive knowledge of the company’s “About Us” webpage. “I have to say, Joshua seemed to have a really firm handle on our values and goals as a company,” said human resources manager Rebecca Clifton, admitting that she was also “pretty floored” by Meyer’s ability to name the exact year the firm was founded and where its original headquarters were located. “He referred to us as a pioneer in the digital marketing industry and was aware that we help our clients maximize opportunities in a changing media landscape. He even knew about our core partnerships with market leaders like Acquia and Target. All around, he’s a pretty remarkable candidate who really seems to understand what we do here.” Clifton added that Meyer further managed to “knock her socks off” by providing short biographies of each member of the company’s executive leadership team.

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Family Moves Elderly Aunt Into Subconscious

RIO RANCHO, NM—After months spent deliberating the best option for their family, members of the Cooper household decided on Monday to move their elderly aunt Joyce Reynolds into their collective subconscious.

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