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What Is The Alt-Right?

A recent speech by Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton criticizing the “alt-right” movement and its support of Republican nominee Donald Trump has shone the national spotlight on the ideologically conservative group. Here’s what you need to know about the alt-right

Aunt On Facebook Casually Advocates War Crime

WILLIAMSPORT, PA—Arguing that it was time to deal decisively with the threat of terrorism, local aunt Deborah Massey casually advocated a war crime Monday in a brief Facebook post, sources confirmed. “Any city that has ISIS people hiding out in it needs to be bombed to the ground.

Dad Shares Photo Album Through Never-Before-Seen Website

SECAUCUS, NJ—Wondering aloud how the father of three even managed to find the online image-hosting service, family members of local dad Phil Yates told reporters Monday the 57-year-old had shared a photo album with them through a never-before-seen website.

How Obamacare Can Be Improved

With Aetna just the latest health insurance provider to opt out of covering Obamacare markets, many are wondering what changes can make the Affordable Care Act more appealing to customers and insurance companies. Here are some proposed improvements

NASA Discovers Distant Planet Located Outside Funding Capabilities

WASHINGTON—Noting that the celestial body lies within the habitable zone of its parent star and could potentially harbor liquid water, NASA officials announced at a press conference Thursday they have discovered an Earth-like planet located outside their funding capabilities.

A Primer On Everyday Sexism

Though opportunities for women have increased considerably over the past century, insidious everyday sexism continues to inform the female experience. Here are some commonly asked questions about this pervasive form of discrimination

Diehard Trump Voters Confirm Rest Of Nation Should Stop Wasting Time Trying To Reach Them

‘If Anything Could Change Our Minds, It Would’ve Happened By Now,’ Say Candidate’s Supporters

WASHINGTON—Saying it should be very clear by now that absolutely nothing can change their position on the matter, steadfast supporters of Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump told the rest of the nation Wednesday that it really shouldn’t bother trying to persuade them not to vote for him.
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Job Interview Tips

When you're job-hunting, getting called for an interview is only half the battle. Here are some strategies that can make you stand out during a meeting with a potential employer:

  • An interview is a negotiation, so always reject the first job offer.
  • It is essential to maintain solid eye contact all the way through to the end of your interview, even as you slowly backpedal from the table and feel behind you for the way out of the office.
  • Your interviewers will invariably ask you what your biggest strengths and weaknesses are. And although it's both an impressive skill and a pernicious vice, it's best to refrain from saying "embezzling" for either answer.
  • If asked to explain why you were let go from your last position, carefully explain it’s none of their fucking business.
  • Don't lapse into a Ted Knight voice when asked about your salary requirements.
  • Dramatically removing your wedding ring and slamming it into the trash demonstrates that no other vow shall come between you and your allegiance to the firm.
  • Chances are they’re looking for an office "bad boy" or "bad girl." Show up late, knock everything off your interviewer's desk, and say you need a dollar for the candy machine in the lobby.
  • A post-interview thank-you letter can make or break your candidacy, so make sure your stationery is branded with the Looney Tunes character that best represents your personality.

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