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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Joe Buck Walks In On Troy Aikman Covering NFL Game With Another Man

MINNEAPOLIS—Fox play-by-play announcer Joe Buck claimed to be overwhelmed with feelings of inadequacy, betrayal, and grief Sunday after catching color commentator Troy Aikman covering the Packers-Vikings game with another man. "Troy? Troy! I can't believe you would do this to me after insisting I was the only broadcasting partner you ever wanted or needed," said Buck, who walked in on Aikman and play-by-play announcer Thom Brennaman intimately discussing Vikings rookie quarterback Christian Ponder's first NFL start. "The second I'm away you're hopping into the booth with…with some guy? Some guy who could never describe a 6-yard carry by running back James Starks the way I can? Does he know that you prefer it when I say the 'ball carrier burst through a huge hole'? I trusted you, Troy, but here you are sharing footage of your rookie season with some man you don't even know." Sources confirmed Aikman repeatedly apologized to Buck, saying, "It's not what it looks like," while putting on his pants.

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