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Joe Flacco Excited To Work Under Man Who Was Coached By Peyton Manning

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Study: 96% Of Pickup Games Decided By Next Score

PRINCETON, NJ—Noting that none of the game’s earlier events factored into the final outcome in any way whatsoever, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Princeton University revealed that 96 percent of all pickup games are decided by the next score.

Kevin Durant Wins Gold In Men’s Individual Basketball

RIO DE JANEIRO—Beating out Serbian Nikola Jokic by .87 points in order to claim the all-around title, U.S. forward Kevin Durant won Olympic gold Friday in men’s individual basketball, becoming the first man to win consecutive golds in the competition since Gary Payton at the 1996 and 2000 Games.

Michael Phelps Spots Estranged Father Poseidon In Stands

RIO DE JANEIRO—Immediately recognizing the booming, thunderous voice he hadn’t heard since he was 5 years old as he warmed up ahead of his first heat in the 200-meter individual medley, U.S. Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps reportedly spotted his long-estranged father, Poseidon, God of the Sea, cheering for him Thursday in the stands of the Olympic Aquatics Stadium.
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Joe Flacco Excited To Work Under Man Who Was Coached By Peyton Manning

BALTIMORE—Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco told reporters Wednesday he was excited to work with new offensive coordinator Jim Caldwell, expressing enthusiasm about learning as much as possible from the man who was coached by former Colts quarterback Peyton Manning. “It’ll be great to pick Caldwell’s brain and find out what he learned in Indianapolis while working under one of the best quarterbacks of all time,” Flacco said. “I’m sure Jim has some really cool stories about being mentored by a four-time MVP, but mostly I want to find out what it was like when he was coached to a Super Bowl by Manning.” At press time, Flacco was reportedly thrilled about hosting the Denver Broncos on Sunday, explaining to teammates and coaches that he couldn’t wait to see, in person, an accomplished quarterback who is admired by millions.

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