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Dwight Howard Clearly Doesn’t Know Team’s Name

WASHINGTON—Noting his confused expression and uncertainty while shouting incorrect nicknames throughout the playoff game, sources confirmed Wednesday night that Atlanta Hawks center Dwight Howard clearly does not know his own team’s name.

Man Tries Using Pink 6-Pound Bowling Ball To Great Amusement

WEST ORANGE, NJ—Seemingly knowing full well that the relatively small and light ball was not designed for someone of his size, sources confirmed Tuesday that 25-year-old Darren Foerstner tried using a pink 6-pound bowling ball for one frame, all to the incredible amusement of friends and onlookers at Eagle Rock Lanes bowling alley.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.
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Joe Flacco Excited To Work Under Man Who Was Coached By Peyton Manning

BALTIMORE—Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco told reporters Wednesday he was excited to work with new offensive coordinator Jim Caldwell, expressing enthusiasm about learning as much as possible from the man who was coached by former Colts quarterback Peyton Manning. “It’ll be great to pick Caldwell’s brain and find out what he learned in Indianapolis while working under one of the best quarterbacks of all time,” Flacco said. “I’m sure Jim has some really cool stories about being mentored by a four-time MVP, but mostly I want to find out what it was like when he was coached to a Super Bowl by Manning.” At press time, Flacco was reportedly thrilled about hosting the Denver Broncos on Sunday, explaining to teammates and coaches that he couldn’t wait to see, in person, an accomplished quarterback who is admired by millions.

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