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Report: Saxophone Still An Okay Vehicle For Self-Expression

While declaring that the musical instrument was by no means ideally suited to the task, a report released by the National Endowment for the Arts Thursday concluded that the saxophone nevertheless remains a fairly decent vehicle for expressing one’s ...

Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.
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Joe Flacco Silences Supporters Once And For All With Terrible Fourth-Quarter Performance

BALTIMORE—Following an anemic late-game performance against the Eagles last weekend, Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco confidently told reporters Thursday that he has now conclusively silenced all of his supporters. “I heard plenty of fans and journalists going off about how great I was after our win against the Bengals, but I don’t hear anyone talking now,” said Flacco, adding that his 2-for-7, 21-yard outing on the last drive of the game with his team down by one point should “shut up all those loudmouths once and for all.” “Maybe now they’ll think twice before saying I’m an elite quarterback who can lead my team to a Super Bowl. I’m sick and tired of hearing that nonsense, and now I can finally just put it all behind me.” In response to Flacco’s comments, Ravens head coach John Harbaugh also came out in strong support of the fifth-year quarterback’s complete lack of ability.

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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

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