Joe Maddon Working On Creating Cool New Infield Position

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Vol 48 Issue 16

Study: Red Meat Takes Years Off Of Cow's Life

WASHINGTON—Confirming years of speculation, a new study from the U.S. Department of Agriculture's National Animal Health Monitoring System has found that red meat significantly increases the risk of premature death in cows.

Storage Wars

A&E 8:30 p.m. EST/7:30 p.m. CST A dejected Dave thinks the storage locker he purchased is a bust when once again he finds nothing but a 55-gallon oil drum stuffed with two female bodies, but he rejoices upon realizing the corpses are concealing a min...

So, You Wanna Dance?

Fox 8:00 p.m. EST/7:00 p.m. CST With host Ryan Seacrest looming over them, waiting…sure they do!
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

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  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

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Joe Maddon Working On Creating Cool New Infield Position

ST. PETERSBURG, FL—Saying he finds the defensive positioning that has been standard in baseball for well over 100 years "staid" and "primitive," Rays manager Joe Maddon revealed Monday he is deep in the process of creating an exciting new infield position for his team. "It's going to be called 'thwartstop,'" said Maddon, who has been working on the position off and on since abandoning efforts to reimagine the left fielder role in the late 1990s. "I haven't worked out all the kinks, but basically you use one less outfielder, and the thwartstop plays in a different part of the infield for each batter, standing in the exact spot spray charts show the batter is most likely to hit the ball." He later showed reporters a special prototype thwartstop glove he has been sewing and divulged that he offered Evan Longoria $500 to star in a instructional video series about the new position that Maddon is self-producing.

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