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Refs Let 49ers Put As Many Men On Field As They Want

SEATTLE—Sighing into the microphone as he stood at the 50-yard line of Centurylink Field, NFL referee Gene Steratore ruled during Sunday’s game that the San Francisco 49ers could put as many men on the field as they want.

Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

‘FanSided’ Ranks All 128 NFL Teams

NEW YORK—As part of its comprehensive professional football coverage in anticipation of the upcoming season, sports news site ‘FanSided’ published an article Tuesday ranking all 128 NFL teams.
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Joe Maddon Working On Creating Cool New Infield Position

ST. PETERSBURG, FL—Saying he finds the defensive positioning that has been standard in baseball for well over 100 years "staid" and "primitive," Rays manager Joe Maddon revealed Monday he is deep in the process of creating an exciting new infield position for his team. "It's going to be called 'thwartstop,'" said Maddon, who has been working on the position off and on since abandoning efforts to reimagine the left fielder role in the late 1990s. "I haven't worked out all the kinks, but basically you use one less outfielder, and the thwartstop plays in a different part of the infield for each batter, standing in the exact spot spray charts show the batter is most likely to hit the ball." He later showed reporters a special prototype thwartstop glove he has been sewing and divulged that he offered Evan Longoria $500 to star in a instructional video series about the new position that Maddon is self-producing.

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