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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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Joe Montana To Lose One Super Bowl Ring For Every Dumb Product He Endorses

NEW YORK—After years of sitting idly by as Hall of Fame quarterback Joe Montana lent his name to Tombstone frozen pizza, McCormick spices and marinades, and now Skechers Shape-ups, a frustrated NFL announced yesterday that from now on Montana will forfeit one Super Bowl ring for every stupid product he endorses. "After watching the latest commercial, in which Joe Montana conducts a mock press conference and credits Skechers Shape-Ups with strengthening his back and legs and giving him the confidence to return to the NFL, we realized we had to take drastic action," said Commissioner Roger Goodell, who later pleaded, "Come on, Joe, it's a damn gimmick shoe for Christ's sake." "If we see Mr. Montana appearing in another Kraft Quarterback Cook-Off, that's one Super Bowl ring. A new ab machine, that's another Super Bowl ring. And, if he endorses more than four stupid products or releases another Skechers commercial, for his own good and the good of the game we'll start confiscating MVP awards." Goodell added that Joe Montana Sports Talk Football for the Sega Genesis will always hold a special place in the NFL's heart and will not be considered a stupid Montana endorsement.

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