John Daly Injured After Vicious Hit During Arena Golf Tournament

Top Headlines


Jumbotron Really Trying To Push New Third-Down Cheer On Fans

SAN DIEGO—Noting that the phrase had appeared in large blue letters during each of the team’s offensive drives, sources at Qualcomm Stadium confirmed Friday that the Jumbotron was trying really hard to push a new third-down cheer on San Diego Chargers fans.

Strongside/Weakside: Kris Bryant

By leading the Chicago Cubs in hits and home runs en route to their second straight playoff appearance, Kris Bryant has placed himself in the running for the National League MVP. Is he any good?

Rest Of Nation To Penn State: ‘Something Is Very Wrong With All Of You’

WASHINGTON—Stating they felt deeply unnerved by the community’s unwavering and impassioned defense of a football program and administration that enabled child sexual abuse over the course of several decades, the rest of the country informed Penn State University Friday that there is clearly something very wrong with all of them.

Strongside/Weakside: Lamar Jackson

After passing for eight touchdowns and rushing for another 10 in just the first three weeks of the season, Louisville Cardinals sophomore quarterback Lamar Jackson has quickly become the frontrunner to win the Heisman Trophy. Is he any good?

Strongside/Weakside: Carson Wentz

After being selected second overall in the 2016 NFL Draft, Philadelphia Eagles quarterback Carson Wentz opened the season with a nearly flawless performance in a victory over the Cleveland Browns. Is he any good?

Former WWE Wrestler Found Alive At 44

PHOENIX—In a revelation that has sent shockwaves through the wrestling world, sources confirmed that former WWE wrestler Freddy Hendricks, better known as his in-ring persona “Time Bomb,” was discovered alive Friday at the age of 44.

Strongside/Weakside: Dak Prescott

Having assumed the role after Tony Romo’s injury during the preseason, Dak Prescott is expected to open the NFL regular season as the first rookie quarterback to start for the Dallas Cowboys since 2004. Is he any good?

Study: 96% Of Pickup Games Decided By Next Score

PRINCETON, NJ—Noting that none of the game’s earlier events factored into the final outcome in any way whatsoever, a study released Wednesday by researchers at Princeton University revealed that 96 percent of all pickup games are decided by the next score.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

John Daly Injured After Vicious Hit During Arena Golf Tournament

SPOKANE, WA—Arena golfer John Daly was forced to withdraw from the Dick's Sporting Goods Classic at Spokane Arena Friday, displaying concussion-like symptoms following a punishing hit delivered by playing partner David Duval.

The hit occurred during the "fairway blitz" that opens each round of arena golf, in which competitors are released from the starting cage and must run across the entire stadium to retrieve their clubs from the lofted, 15-foot-high tee area. As Daly climbed to the top of the platform and reached for a driver, Duval reportedly wheeled and blindsided him with a five-iron he had acquired moments earlier, sending the 1991 PGA Championship winner sprawling down to the turf.

According to sources, Daly was also treated for several minor bruises and lacerations sustained when competitors drove balls at the golfer's stomach and legs as he lay dazed on the fairway. Due to a recent rule change, two-stroke bonuses are awarded for pelting competitors en route to the 7-foot-wide hole.

"I hope John recovers soon, because I know we'll miss him on the AGA Tour," said Duval, who won the tournament with a two-round score of 105 under par. "He's a real force: Great fundamentals, and boy, coming off the trampoline, his midair driving accuracy is unmatched."

Daly has taken the world of arena golf by storm this year, winning five events with his powerful swing, quick defensive reflexes, and, when traversing water hazards, impressive swimming speed. The 46-year-old made headlines in July, achieving golf's first-ever triple albatross by holing in just two strokes on the par-11 fifth at Cleveland's Quicken Loans Arena.

Daly is expected to miss two to four weeks with the injuries, which his caddy Peter Van Der Riet said are minor.

"Incidents like this sometimes happen in arena golf, and partly it's just the nature of the game," Genter said. "In the end, it's really about the fans. The big hits, the diving putts, the quicksand traps—that's what people come here to see. That's what gets the whole stadium on its feet and clapping politely."


Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close