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Sports

Best Sports Stadiums

As Detroit prepares to demolish and say goodbye to the storied Joe Louis Arena, Onion Sports examines some of the greatest stadiums of all time.

Mom Finds Disturbing Reading Material In Teenage Son’s Bedroom

OMAHA, NE—Saying she felt disgusted and saddened by the shocking discovery, local woman Beth Loomis told reporters Thursday that she was deeply disturbed after finding recruitment reading material from the Baylor University football team in her teenage son’s bedroom.

Rookie First Baseman Nervous To Chat With Baserunners

ATLANTA—Noting how important it is to make a good first impression, Pittsburgh Pirates rookie first baseman Josh Bell told reporters before Tuesday’s game against the Atlanta Braves that he’s still nervous about chatting with opposing baserunners.

Notable Athlete-Branded Products

With sports stars lending their names to everything from furniture to salsa, Onion Sports breaks down some of the most notable athlete-branded products.

MLB Bans Cruel Practice Of Castrating Mascots

NEW YORK—Saying that the “antiquated and barbaric procedure” has no place in modern baseball, MLB commissioner Rob Manfred announced Monday that the league was banning the brutal practice of castrating mascots.

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.
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John Daly Injured After Vicious Hit During Arena Golf Tournament

SPOKANE, WA—Arena golfer John Daly was forced to withdraw from the Dick's Sporting Goods Classic at Spokane Arena Friday, displaying concussion-like symptoms following a punishing hit delivered by playing partner David Duval.

The hit occurred during the "fairway blitz" that opens each round of arena golf, in which competitors are released from the starting cage and must run across the entire stadium to retrieve their clubs from the lofted, 15-foot-high tee area. As Daly climbed to the top of the platform and reached for a driver, Duval reportedly wheeled and blindsided him with a five-iron he had acquired moments earlier, sending the 1991 PGA Championship winner sprawling down to the turf.

According to sources, Daly was also treated for several minor bruises and lacerations sustained when competitors drove balls at the golfer's stomach and legs as he lay dazed on the fairway. Due to a recent rule change, two-stroke bonuses are awarded for pelting competitors en route to the 7-foot-wide hole.

"I hope John recovers soon, because I know we'll miss him on the AGA Tour," said Duval, who won the tournament with a two-round score of 105 under par. "He's a real force: Great fundamentals, and boy, coming off the trampoline, his midair driving accuracy is unmatched."

Daly has taken the world of arena golf by storm this year, winning five events with his powerful swing, quick defensive reflexes, and, when traversing water hazards, impressive swimming speed. The 46-year-old made headlines in July, achieving golf's first-ever triple albatross by holing in just two strokes on the par-11 fifth at Cleveland's Quicken Loans Arena.

Daly is expected to miss two to four weeks with the injuries, which his caddy Peter Van Der Riet said are minor.

"Incidents like this sometimes happen in arena golf, and partly it's just the nature of the game," Genter said. "In the end, it's really about the fans. The big hits, the diving putts, the quicksand traps—that's what people come here to see. That's what gets the whole stadium on its feet and clapping politely."

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