John Fox

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Vol 50 Issue 04

Girl Scouts Introduce Gluten-Free Cookies

In an effort to better accommodate those with gluten intolerance, a number of Girl Scout troops around the country will sell a gluten-free version of their chocolate chip shortbread cookie.

Huskies Unstoppable During Cold-Weather Puppy Bowl

NEW YORK—Overcoming frigid temperatures and biting winds, a team of husky puppies overpowered and trounced the opposition Sunday during Puppy Bowl X, the first ever cold-weather Puppy Bowl. As temperatures dropped into the low twenties, puppies atte...

Seahawks vs. Broncos

The Seahawks battle the Broncos in a game that players will be treating like the Super Bowl. Onion Sports examines what each team must do to win.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Technology

Technology Unfortunately Allows Distant Friends To Reconnect

WAYNE, PA—Providing them the tools necessary to bridge a gap that both individuals say they were more than willing to maintain indefinitely, sources confirmed Monday that the advent of modern technology has unfortunately allowed distant friends Mere...

Holiday

John Fox

Coach, Denver Broncos

Strength: Product of the famed Jim Fassel coaching tree

Weaknesses: Can’t win without all-time great like Peyton Manning or Jake Delhomme; Struggles in cold-weather coaching conditions; Requires new aortic valve replacement two to three times per game; Deaf and mute

Skill: Quick, elegant coaching mechanics

Style: Perplexed oaf

Embarrassing Secret: Thought it was called “line of spinach” until just last year

Job He Would Have If He Wasn’t An NFL Head Coach: Assistant head coach

Coaching Philosophy: West Coast nihilist

Goals: Headset that actually plugs in

NEXT: Peyton Manning

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