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Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Benny The Bull Busted For Possession Of Unlicensed T-Shirt Gun

CHICAGO—Noting that the suspect had been taken into custody after officers managed to tackle and wrestle the individual to the ground of the United Center concourse, police confirmed Monday that Chicago Bulls mascot Benny the Bull was arrested for possession of an unlicensed T-shirt gun.

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.
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John Harbaugh

Ravens Head Coach

Strength: Marginally less of an asshole than his asshole brother; Incredibly mobile on the sideline; Received better genetic balance between his father’s competitiveness and his mother’s ability not to whine and tantrum and throw fits

Weakness: Always calls his brother before big games to wish him good luck and tell him every detail of the Ravens’ weekly game plan; Never worked up the courage to tell Ray Lewis what to do; Has thing for shitty quarterbacks

Favorite Medium For Drawing Up New Plays: Watercolors

Style: Blue-collar lunkhead

Most Annoying Habit: Constantly asks referee how much time is left in the game

Shouting Style: Explosive

Strategy: Let 49ers win so Jim doesn’t act like a complete fucking baby for the rest of his life

NEXT: Ray Lewis

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